They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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