I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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