so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
