Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
