I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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