I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
