Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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