Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
