He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
