i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
