So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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