It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
