shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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