i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
