thus making me awesome and them whores
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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