omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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