This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize