What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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