i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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