i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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