buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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