no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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