here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
