He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
