i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
