She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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