I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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