you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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