using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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