ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
