do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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