considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
