So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize