I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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