well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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