hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
