wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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