what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
