Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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