I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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