Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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