Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize