I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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