if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
