she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
