I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
