Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
