Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I've blown a few things in my day
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
