is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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