and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
