All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
