We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize