The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
