Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
