hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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