Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize