Having a random hookup so left but love u
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
where are you?
Hypothermia
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
