Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
