Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
