I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
