I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
