Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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