then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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