so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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