Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
