shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We have started to decorate penises.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The air taste purple.
Randomize
