I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
