Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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