i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
