how can u be prego again
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
