But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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