I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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