I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize