Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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