I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
