mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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